


i'm drunk, i love you

by crushunits



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Drunken Confessions, Engagement, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Friendzone, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung is Whipped, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung-centric, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving On, Romance, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:29:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23628475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crushunits/pseuds/crushunits
Summary: In his drunken state, Doyoung finally admits his long overdue confession to Jungwoo.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Jungwoo, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Kim Jungwoo, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 1
Kudos: 68





	i'm drunk, i love you

“Hit me up.”

Doyoung drops his glass to the counter, prompting to give it to the bartender, who willingly went up and refilled his drink.

It’s his sixth glass of whiskey already, and honestly, he doesn’t even like the taste of it. Nor enjoying it. He wasn’t actually such a drinker himself. In fact, He didn’t even drank one sip of soju to Johnny’s birthday party last time. He particularly didn’t liked the idea of letting himself go through rash decision makings once the alcohol kicks into his system. Plus, he knows all about those unintentional mishaps that happens whenever someone goes into drinking.

But here he was, drinking like some total loser in the bar while his best friend was celebrating his engagement night. It was ironic; really. On how he’s being miserable to Jungwoo’s engagement, which is probably the happiest moment of his life right now. He’s being so unsupportive, when he should be the one standing up beside him, congratulating him in front of all their friends. But he’s not. He’s just pathetically drinking his sorrows away like a fool, while feeling so fully ashamed of himself.

He knew he should be happy for his best friend. But he can’t. He just can’t. Even if he tries on faking a smile right now, he knows he can’t lie to himself. He just can’t accept the fact that his bestfriend, or rather, the love of his life, is now engaged to another man that is not him. Doyoung winced at the thought, grabbing his newly refilled glass and shoves it over his mouth in one full drink.

“Woah there, take it easy, buddy.”

He turns to look at a very familiar face, although kind of blurry because of his drinks.

He already knew it was Jungwoo. Probably because, his cute little face has been encrypted to his mind ever since they were kids. He wouldn’t miss that kind of face for the world.

He gently drops his glass, sending a small nod to Jungwoo.

“Oh, Woo. It’s you... I was just about to head out there. What are you doing out here in the back?” Doyoung says, but Jungwoo just rolled his eyes on him.

“I should be the one asking you that,” Jungwoo frowns, as he crosses his arms. “I kept looking for you since earlier… and all of our friends are waiting for you, too! And now, I’m seeing you drinking here… is there something wrong with you? Are you not feeling well? What’s going on with you that you’re even drinking?”

Doyoung offers a small laugh.

He finds it cute how Jungwoo was worrying for him right now; although it wasn’t necessary. He was always like that, even when they were just kids. Even when Doyoung was two years older than Jungwoo. He always puts Doyoung’s safety first, despite being the one who’s always in trouble back then. He was always trailing behind Doyoung’s steps, following him around everywhere; which resulted for them to hang out with each other so often that it’s almost natural that they come off as a pair. And these years they spent together, and observing each other – It’s just amazing how they knew each other so well.

Just enough, for Jungwoo to realize that there is indeed something wrong with him tonight. But he can’t let Jungwoo know about his petty little reason for drinking tonight. Especially now, that he’s engaged.

“Don’t be so over calculating.” Doyoung chokes back a laugh, “I’m just enjoying my drinks, that’s all.”

Jungwoo glared at him, fully suspicious of his choice of words. Totally not buying any of his bullshit.

“Stop lying in front of my face, Doyoung. I know you. And I know for a fact that you hate drinking.”

Jungwoo came closer, his face etched with concern, resting his hands onto Doyoung’s for support. “Tell me the truth.”

Doyoung shook his head away from Jungwoo.

He just know that he can’t look at Jungwoo in his eyes. He would probably melt in his gazes, and it would be embarrassing if he lets Jungwoo see it. So, he desperately shoved him, forcing out a fake laugh.

“Then you’re wrong! You don’t know me at all ‘coz I like drinking now!” Doyoung regretted shoving him, seeing how Jungwoo was appalled by his action. But he can’t back down now – now that Jungwoo is closer to the truth.

Jungwoo scoffs at him. “Well, excuse me, but you didn’t even drank when you and Taeyong broke up!”

Doyoung groaned with the name drop, starting to get real pissed at Jungwoo, which is weird because he’s all done with those past issues before.

“Why’d you have to bring up Taeyong into this? You’re crazy! I told you I’m just enjoying my drinks!”

“But you didn’t like being drunk!” Jungwoo counters. “To your past breakups, you didn’t get drunk! To other parties as well!”

“Oh how I wish I am so drunk right now!” Doyoung raised his voice at Jungwoo, tapping at his glass for the bartender to fill it up again.

And at the second it got refilled, he drank it all once, without hesitation.

Doyoung stood up, slightly wobbling and unsteady. Now that he talked so quick about getting drunk, the alcohol starts to work even faster in his system.

He looked back at Jungwoo, who is still worried about him. He rolled his eyes in annoyance, not to Jungwoo, but to himself for being so pathetic. He just can’t believe he’s the one causing stress to his best friend tonight, even on his very special day. He also can’t believe why Jungwoo was choosing to hang out with him at the back, when he should be having fun with the others at the party.

He turns his back away from him, and headed to the door.

“Doyoung, where are you going?” Jungwoo tries to stop him.

“You don’t have to know. Get back on the party with all our other friends. They need you there…” Doyoung just said and steps outside the party venue.

He walked quietly, hearing the faint music from the bar, trying to organize his thoughts because seeing Jungwoo caused quite a mess in his head. He continued to walk until he sees a small park, immediately going over the swings and sits there.

“Why did you follow me here?” Doyoung says, looking directly at Jungwoo. He knows that he was being followed since earlier, but he’s too busy trying to walk straight, without falling that he didn’t took an effort to tell him off.

Jungwoo just gave him a sheepish grin. “Because I wanted to.”

“Plus, you’re drunk and I don’t want you to pass out at the ground.” He added, laughing.

Doyoung frowns. “Psh. I’m not that drunk. I can still manage myself. Besides why do you even care? You should go back to your engagement party and to your fiancée now.”

Jungwoo goes over him and hits him lightly in the head. “Because I’m your best friend, dummy. And friends care for each other.”

“Besides, my fiancée can look over himself on his own. You’re my top most priority right now.”

Doyoung sighed softly, whispering. “How can I be your top most priority when you’re marrying a different guy?”

“What are you saying?” Jungwoo knits his eyebrows together, going closer to him.

But Doyoung just ruffled Jungwoo’s hair, messing it up a little bit. “Nothing… I said it’s your engagement party. It’s just natural that you should be there. The guests are probably all looking for you. So, that should be your top most priority.”

Jungwoo pouted. “It’s not a proper engagement party, if you’re not there.”

Doyoung felt his heart beat pacing up a little bit. Jungwoo wants him there.

“You’re my bestfriend. Of course, I would want you to be at my special day.”

He felt his heart breaking a little. “I see. I understand… I’m sorry for leaving you out there in your party alone.”

Jungwoo shrugs, taking a seat on a swing beside Doyoung’s. “It’s fine… I know you must have a reason for it. And I’m ready to listen to it all, whenever you’re ready.”

Doyoung smiled.

He looked at Jungwoo once again; just trying to look at him for the last time – in case that he never wants to be friends with him after confessing everything that bothers him right now. He figured that it’s the right moment to tell him how he feels and get over with it. He doesn’t want to keep staying at the dark; he finally wants to come clean about it. And even though he knows that it’s probably the alcohol speaking, he doesn’t want to waste this once in a lifetime chance.

“Do you remember when you got hit by a ball in the head during soccer practice because the ball was coming to me and you’re trying to prevent me from getting hurt?” Doyoung blurted out, suddenly.

Jungwoo smiles, too.

“Yeah, I do remember that. How can I forget about it? Sometimes I can still feel a part of my head aching because of it.” He said, laughing. “But what about it?”

“Nothing, it’s just something that I can never forget because it was the reason why the two of us became close together.”

“Yeah… after that incident, I felt heroic and thought like I’m a super hero to you. So, I always followed you around… and swore that I will always protect you.”

Doyoung laughed at the thought. “But in the end, you’re actually the one who’s always ended up getting hurt.”

“Plus, you’re a cry baby.” Doyoung teases.

“But that was all in the past! I don’t cry that often now!” Jungwoo whined.

“Oh, sure! As if you didn’t cry after getting rejected by Taeil-hyung a million times.”

Jungwoo hits Doyoung again, this time a little harder. “Hey! Don’t bring that up!” But Doyoung just mischievously smiled, and continued. “You’re always crying to me back then… saying that you’re gonna marry me instead because nobody likes you for real!”

Jungwoo frowned, looking away from Doyoung. “Yeah, but you kept saying that you will never marry a crybaby like me… so, that I would stop crying…” Doyoung smiles a little.

“But then one time, you stopped crying to me about Taeil.”

He looks up into the sky, studying the stars. “You said that you finally met the one.”

Then, he looked back at Jungwoo; holding his gaze. “It took me by surprise, of course. I even almost thought you were joking…” 

Jungwoo laughed softly, agreeing into a nod. “So, I had to drag Jaehyun in front of you, just so you would believe me.”

“And now, you’re engaged to him. You’re marrying him.” Doyoung softly said, allowing a fraction of sadness flash over his face for a second. It was quick, but Jungwoo was able to catch that.

“While I’m already at my late 20’s, you already met the one you want to marry.” He notices that the mood dropped a bit, so he offers a small smile.

“Don’t you think it’s unfair? Marrying someone, and leaving me alone after all those years saying that you’re going to marry me?” Doyoung pouted, trying to make it light.

“You’re crazy. You don’t even want to marry me.” Jungwoo shook his head away.

Silence. It was only for a moment but Doyoung felt that it was the perfect time to finally say it.

So he grabbed his hands, catching Jungwoo’s attention and making him look back at him.

"I do." He said, indirectly answering Jungwoo as if he's the one who's making the vows.

Jungwoo was confused but he plays along with Doyoung. "You do what?"

"I do want to marry you."

Another silence.

“I love you.”

Doyoung simply drops his confession, but a burst of foreign feelings surged through him with those three words that he has been aching to tell Jungwoo since forever.

Jungwoo wide openly stared at him in shock and in silence. He almost didn’t know what to react but managed to force a laugh, even though it came out so awkwardly.

“You’re drunk.”

Jungwoo states, shaking his head in disbelief as he yanked his hands away from Doyoung.

“Yeah. I know. But I still love you.”

Doyoung laughs, feeling lighter than ever; now that he finally released all of his tension and secrets to his best friend. It was surprisingly easy, and he was starting to wonder why he couldn’t say it earlier before.

Jungwoo laughs back, still confused what to make of Doyoung’s words. “And I love you, too. I don’t know what’s getting you to say these mushy words, but I will always love you, because we are friends.”

Doyoung laughed shortly, as if he found it so funny. He then, slowly grabbed Jungwoo’s hands again and put it within his reach. “Idiot…” he retorted. “I was talking about another else…” Doyoung continued.

“I loved you ever since we were kids. Ever since you saved me from that ball. Ever since you started hanging out with me, smiling at me; saying that you’re my hero. I loved how you laugh, especially the way you smiled. But I also loved when you cried to me about your sorrows. I loved that you always stood up beside me even after all these years. And I’ll keep loving you, even now that you’re about to get married. And even if it wasn’t me.” Doyoung leans closer, cupping Jungwoo’s face altogether.

“So you should stop worrying about me… and get back to your party right now. And most especially to Jaehyun.” He smiles, releasing his hands from Jungwoo.

“I’ll be fine here, and as always I don’t need any of your protection.”

Jungwoo grabbed Doyoung’s hands, leaning closer and stared at his eyes directly. Doyoung started to panic.

“B-besides, I’m not a cry baby like you. I’ll be okay.” He says, breaking his voice a little.

But Jungwoo continued to lean closer, until he closed the gap between them, leaving only little space.

He then whispers, “Liar,” right to Doyoung’s face.

“You’re a liar.” Jungwoo repeated, making Doyoung realize that he’s actually crying; since a while ago. Even though he was smiling.

Jungwoo proceeded to kiss his forehead, then kissed his tears away.

“I’m sorry. But thank you for loving me.” It was the only words he could say. And it was the only words Doyoung needed to hear.

Doyoung looked up to him, drying up the tears he had left away. “I’m wishing you happiness with him. I hope you’ll always be happy…” Jungwoo smiled, nodding.

“I wish the same with you… and I know you’ll meet the one for you soon, too.” Jungwoo said.

“Though, you really got to man up faster and tell him about your feelings next time.” He teased.

Doyoung pouted, as he smacked Jungwoo on his shoulder. The latter just laughed in response.

Jungwoo stood up, and Doyoung just watched him as he slowly walked away from him. “So, I guess I have to go back at the party…”

“Yeah.” Doyoung smiles a little, being reminded of his reality.

Jungwoo looked at him, hard. And somehow Doyoung felt like that was the last time he would really be with Jungwoo, the man he always loved and held dear close to his heart.

The younger turned his back away and started walking. “I’ll just tell them you passed out from being so drunk.”

Jungwoo’s words echoes through the street. And he's still teasing Doyoung until the end.

Doyoung laughed as he answered him back. “Nonsense! No one would believe that! Just tell them I’m heartbroken… they’ll understand.”

And just like that, Jungwoo went back at the party while Doyoung watched his back all the time he took a step away from him, allowing himself being vulnerable once again; hugging himself as he cried for the last time.

When he finally calmed down a little, he took his wallet and stared at the picture he has with Jungwoo. It was taken by the time when he was pulled into a wedding ceremony with Jungwoo because Taeil refused to be married with him, even on a fake marriage booth.

Jungwoo was crying but seems determined to finish all the ceremony so that he wouldn’t lose his face for being stood up.

“I don’t understand why he keeps on hurting me like this… am I really that undesirable to him?” Jungwoo mumbles, but also stops himself. “No… it wasn’t me who’s undesirable… it’s him… I don’t need him…” Jungwoo stated, loudly as if wanting to convince himself to forget about Taeil.

Doyoung couldn’t contain his laugh because he knew exactly how Jungwoo will forget about this nonsense and will be continue liking Taeil again tomorrow.

Jungwoo looked at him, in spite. “What are you laughing about? I’m really going to forget about my feelings about him starting now! Plus, you’re the one who’s with me right now. I’m going to be okay because I have you!” The younger almost said in a tantrum but Doyoung was taken aback with his words. “Get ready because I’m going to marry you instead, Doyoung! And you don’t get to have another choice besides me!”

Doyoung laughed softly as he reminisced about the past. Even though, he might not remember everything in complete detail because Jungwoo really got him in shocked that day.

He sighed in defeat as he took a one last look into the picture. “You’re really a little unfair to me, Jungwoo. You lied about marrying me in the end.”

But as Doyoung stared at the smiling Jungwoo in his picture, he just can’t help but feel a little happy too for his bestfriend. “Thank you for letting me love you, Woo. Everything up to here was wonderful.” Doyoung said as he closed his wallet and returns it to his pocket.

“And now, I’m going to start letting go of my feelings for you, step by step.”

Feeling satisfied, Doyoung finally stood up and decided to call it a day but surprised to see Yuta casually standing in front of him, holding two cones of ice cream.

“Have you been standing there for a long time?” Doyoung cracks the silence between them.

Yuta shrugs in response. “Not really. When I accidentally saw you crying over there, I didn’t really want to disturb you so I went to the nearest convenience store instead to buy an ice cream, thinking that you might need them eventually.”

Doyoung smiles. It was kinda weird that a friend of Jaehyun’s was comforting him right now when he doesn’t really know the guy, but it was comforting.

“Thank you,” he says.

“No problem. Anything for a friend of my friend.” Yuta said in response as he gave Doyoung his vanilla-flavored ice cream.

Doyoung continued walking, and Yuta follows him at the back.

“Are you headed home as well?” Doyoung asked.

“Not really…” Yuta answers. “My home is on another way…” Doyoung, then stops and turns to Yuta. “Then why?”

But Yuta was nonchalant about it. “Just because,” he says. “I feel like walking you home.”

Doyoung couldn’t say anything more against that so he just continued walking.

The walk towards home was silent but it wasn’t awkward. It was a comfortable silence and he's grateful for Yuta because of that.

“Did you know why I was crying earlier?” Doyoung finally breaks the silence.

Yuta stops momentarily from licking his ice cream, then continues. “I have an idea, but you don’t really have to say it to me.”

“I finally confessed my feelings to the person I love the most.” Doyoung admitted. “I got rejected, though… Obviously.”

Yuta hums in response, finishing up his ice cream.

“You’re brave. It takes courage to say all that and even more courage to accept everything despite being rejected.” Yuta added.

“Even if it was probably too late?”

Yuta stops from walking, making Doyoung look back at him.

“Nothing is ever too late when it comes to love. Besides, just think of it as a way of saving you in an earlier heartbreak if you ever confessed early and it doesn’t work between the two of you.”

“As for me, I don’t think I can imagine a Doyoung without Jungwoo like how I don’t think I can imagine Jaehyun without Jungwoo, either.”

Doyoung blushes as he heard Jungwoo’s name. Was he really that obvious that even Jaehyun’s circle of friends know?

“Yes, it was obvious. But don’t worry. I respect it and even find it admirable.” Yuta smiles a little.

Doyoung sees that and heats up even more, feeling a bit embarrassed; and making him walk faster than before despite being a bit slurry as he bites his ice cream away.

After a few more minutes, Doyoung abruptly stops as he reached his home and sternly faces Yuta back. “Thank you for walking me home. And, for the ice cream. I wish you to be safe and well. Goodnight!” He says in a fast manner before walking up the stairs of his home as if in a chase.

“I love you, too.” Yuta tells him, making Doyoung almost lose his footsteps at the stairs.

"You what?" Doyoung immediately replied.

He turns to see Yuta grinning at him, as if he was getting pranked and it was really annoying because his damn heart is beating like crazy for no reason; and he knew that he must be blushing so madly in front of someone he doesn’t really know well.

“Nonsense!” Doyoung retorted back. “You must be drunk.”

“Maybe.” Yuta answers. “Or maybe not.”

Doyoung is about to lose his mind. But Yuta chuckles in response.

“Oh c’mon! I’m just practicing the words I’ll tell you, in case you’ll confess to me soon.” Yuta explains. "Do I really have that huge of an effect to you?”

Doyoung shakes his head in disbelief.

“You’re crazy. We literally don’t know each other. So there's no way I'll confess to you.”

“But you love me.” Yuta teases, finding it enjoyable to see Doyoung being so affected like that. "That's enough reason for us to be together and know each other better."

Doyoung decides that Yuta won’t stop if he’ll keep on answering every banter that was getting thrown into him so, he just continued going up stairs and tells him words, in final. “Good night! I’ll see you never!”

But then, Yuta just laughed at him and tells him the three words – which he found the hardest to say since forever – so easily, yet again to him as if it was nothing. It was the same three words, yet he made him feel different about it. As if it was really made to be said out loud and not hidden. Made to make someone feel loved and be loved, instead of being hurt.

Doyoung laughed, and this time, genuinely. Maybe he just might really be that drunk.

**Author's Note:**

> its been a long time since i gained an inspiration to fully write about dowoo!! so here ya go~ hope y'all would like it!!  
> comments are highly appreciated!


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